


the most wonderful time of the year

by cardeloons



Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/F, First Kiss, Mistletoe, just cheesy tropey festive fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:28:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27762262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cardeloons/pseuds/cardeloons
Summary: "A few weeks ago when Jen had caught Judy’s eyes lighting up with child-like wonder that had rivaled Henry’s at the town’s Christmas tree lighting, she knew she was going to do anything she could to recreate that joy-filled moment as many times as she could throughout the season."or, the boys discover Jen and Judylikelike each other and make a plan to get them together for christmas, with a whole lot of bonus fluff thrown in for good measure
Relationships: Judy Hale/Jen Harding
Comments: 77
Kudos: 120





	1. kids jingle belling

**Author's Note:**

> i love festive fluff so much that i first drafted this back in july because i was _that_ excited to see these two live out the tropey christmas rom com dream! hope you enjoy this totally indulgent piece of simple christmas fun 🎄
> 
> shoutout to berryforager and realthicbitch for being the best support and beta team a gal could ask for 💜
> 
> (also this should absolutely be a oneshot but i've split it into short chapters because the lyrics in "the most wonderful time of year" matched the sections i planned so perfectly i couldn't resist using them as chapter titles!)

Jen has never been one to overthink presents, and she _certainly_ never thinks twice about just using the closest wrapping paper. It only gets torn up and thrown in the trash anyway, right? But here she is sitting on her bedroom floor surrounded by an enormous pile of partially wrapped presents, accompanied by garishly festive wrapping paper and more ribbon than she cares to acknowledge. 

This task was meant to be quick: get the final Christmas gifts wrapped while Judy is at the store with Henry. As Jen had started to retrieve the presents from their various hiding spots, though, she was shocked to find she had accidentally accumulated so many gifts over the past month they form a small gift-mountain on her floor. And when it took Jen not one, not two, but three trips into her closet to pull out all the rolls of wrapping paper and wrapping accessories she paused to contemplate if she really was losing her mind. 

_Who the_ fuck _needs eight paper options? And what’s the fucking point of ribbon anyway? Just makes it harder to open the gift._

And now, agonising over whether the perfect color of ribbon to complement this paper is gold or green or red, Jen can’t deny that she knows exactly what has driven her to this particular moment of Christmastime chaos. 

_Judy._

Although this year is the second Christmas the boys will have without their dad, it’s the first where they really feel like a family again, their grief no longer a constant, suffocating blanket hanging over them all. They all know that Judy’s presence has been a big part of making that happen. Jen recognises that Judy brings out the best in her, helping her to stay calm and present and be the best mom she can be. And of course Jen was already putting in extra effort to make this Christmas fun for the boys, but with it being their first Christmas with Judy too, it feels especially important that everything is _perfect._

While Judy hasn’t said anything specific, Jen suspects Judy hasn’t felt proper Christmas joy in a long time, if ever. The Wood family hadn't seemed the type to embrace the festive spirit, and Judy’s mom… Well, she can’t imagine what a Christmas while living in a car would be like. So a few weeks ago when Jen had caught Judy’s eyes lighting up with child-like wonder that had rivaled Henry’s at the town’s Christmas tree lighting, she knew she was going to do anything she could to recreate that joy-filled moment as many times as she could throughout the season.

It’s totally normal to want your best friend who owns half your house and sometimes shares your bed and helps raise your kids and puts hearts in your coffee every morning to be happy. There’s definitely no need to overthink why she can’t stop the smile that appears when she remembers Judy’s delighted squeal when Jen took her to the local Winter Festival, or why her heart races when she imagines Judy’s reaction to beautifully wrapped gifts. 

Not when there are clearly more pressing issues at hand, like: _how the fuck do you even turn a ribbon into a bow?!_

Having settled on the red ribbon, a frustrated string of muttered curse words leaves Jen’s mouth as she tries for the third time to tie the perfect bow around the small box in her lap. 

“Mom?” 

Charlie appears in the doorway, stopping in his tracks as soon as he sees his mom sitting in a pile of knotted ribbon and scrunched up paper. Jen glances up and can’t help the glare that flashes across her face upon finding her oldest son suppressing a laugh as he takes in the sight before him.

“What are you doing?” Charlie asks, tone laced with amusement.

Jen raises the small wrapped box with a lop-sided bow, as if that will explain everything, “What does it look like I’m doing?!”

“Okay… but who are all these presents even for? I know they’re not mine and Henry’s – we found those last week in the usual spot.” 

Jen opens her mouth to yell at him for snooping but, before she can, Charlie adds teasingly, “And those presents definitely did not have fancy paper and ribbons on them like this.”

Jen can sense that Charlie is trying to rile her up and she tries desperately to come up with some excuse before she realises that Charlie will see these gifts in two days anyway. Jen huffs out a defeated breath and lets the truth fall out with it, eyes floating down to stare at the carnage around her. 

“They’re for Judy.” 

“Ooooh,” Charlie laughs, causing Jen’s head to snap up to catch her son’s smirk, “of course they are.” 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Charlie just stares back at her with a knowing look, refusing to back down, and Jen feels caught. 

“She’s been through so much this year. I just think she deserves some nice things.”

Jen declines to add that she still feels some residual guilt about burning Judy’s previous nice things. Despite Judy’s reassurances that she has long since forgiven her, Jen is happy to have an excuse to replace some of the items she destroyed.

“She does.” Charlie sounds more serious now and Jen looks to him suspiciously as he continues. “But you have like a hundred fucking gifts here, and you’re yelling at glittery ribbons. What’s going on?”

“I don’t fuckin know, Charlie,” Jen shoots back defensively. A silence settles between them for a moment before Jen sighs, giving in a little. “Okay, maybe I panicked and went a little overboard... I want to make sure Judy enjoys her first Christmas with us.”

“Mom, come on! Seriously? You know Judy would love literally anything you got her, no matter how it was wrapped.”

“I know, but…” Jen realises she has nothing more to argue. Not without revealing her true reasoning for desperately trying to make Judy’s festive period perfect. She sighs again, tossing the present she was still holding to the floor. 

“But…” he pauses and Jen watches as he seems to work through some inner turmoil, glancing at her and bracing himself, “But you love her.”

“Of course I love Judy. We all do.”

“Oh my god, nooo!” Charlie practically groans, accompanied by an exaggerated eye roll. Like mother, like son. But his tone softens before he clarifies, “You are _in_ love with her. It’s, like, really fucking obvious.” 

Jen just stares, jaw opening and closing, stunned into silence, and Charlie seizes the rare opportunity of not being immediately met with yelling. 

“It’s impossible not to see how you two flirt all the time.”

“We do not fli-” Jen unconvincingly tries to interrupt before being cut off by Charlie, clearly not interested in stopping now that he has started.

“Yes, you do. The way you look at each other is just gross. And you cuddle on the sofa and giggle all the fucking time, and share a freakin bed! Henry and I honestly thought you were secretly together months ago. But then Judy dated Michelle a while back and we realised you are both just idiots.”

Jen is shaking her head, getting ready to deny everything and tell him he’s wrong. _What the fuck does he know anyway? He’s just a kid._ But she’s not quick enough because Charlie calls her out before she can. 

“Don’t lie to me, Mom. I’m not stupid.” He looks at her and laughs, but she can see there’s love in his eyes and it softens Jen’s hard exterior for a moment. She wonders, not for the first time recently, when her little boy started growing up so much. 

“I mean look at this mess.”

Jen surveys the chaos around her; in her lap is the small box, delicately wrapped with perfectly folded, symmetrical edges, an almost complete but lopsided bow sitting on top of it. In front of her there are pieces of twisted tape stuck to discarded ends of paper. A glittery reindeer tangled in knotted ribbon stares back at her and she swears it looks like it’s laughing. To her left are two beautifully wrapped presents, while on her right an unnecessarily large selection of unwrapped gifts remains. Realising she has been here for at least twenty minutes already and she has only managed to wrap two gifts, she feels her defences deflate. 

_It really is fucking obvious... Fuckin Charlie._

“Okay. Fine. Maybe I like Judy a little more than a friend sometimes.” It comes out rushed and Jen blushes at the rare moment of honesty before retreating back to the depths of her denial. “But it doesn’t mean anything and nothing’s going to happen. I’ll get over it soon.”

“What? Why? You need to tell her. You’re practically together already.”

“It’s just best we stay friends.” Jen trails off, drawing the line at sharing her fears and insecurities with her teenage son.

“This is so stupid – have you seen how Judy looks at you?”

“Stop!” Jen snaps, her ability to deal with emotions reaching an end as she lets the welcoming cloak of anger return. “You don’t know anything. You’re just a kid.”

“But–“ 

“Charlie. Please,” Jen almost begs, hoping her son is perceptive enough to know she can’t take anymore right now. “Just drop it.”

“Fine. Whatever.” Charlie turns away and starts to leave the room, but spins around in the doorway with a smirk dancing across his face. “Have fun finishing wrapping that mountain of gifts before they get home.”

Jen slumps over, head in her hands, no idea how to process the fact her absurdly perceptive son just dragged out the secret she had been so desperately trying to hide from even herself. 

_Fuuucckkkkkk._

  


* * *

  


Judy can’t believe she’s getting ready to spend Christmas with her family, a real Christmas, full to the brim with all the festivities and joy. This year has quickly become her favourite Christmas season to date. Over the years she has had some nice Christmases; she has decorated Christmas trees and exchanged gifts and embraced the festive spirit, but this year feels different, feels more. She is spending it with her best friend and the kids she loves like her own, in a home that is officially half hers. This year she feels settled and loved and truly, deeply happy.

The first hint that this year was going to be the best yet came when Jen suggested they all go to the local Christmas tree lighting at the beginning of December. Judy experienced a true moment of Christmas magic while watching Henry’s excited face glow as they counted down, the anticipation rippling through the crowd. And when the massive tree and surrounding streets and the faces of her family were illuminated by thousands of sparkling lights, the joy that washed over her was so immense it had stuck with her for days.

The following weekend they had planned to decorate the house. They went to pick a Christmas tree in the morning and then Jen had surprised Judy and the boys with a detour to the Winter Festival on the way home. The regular outdoor arts and crafts market had been transformed into a winter wonderland, complete with gift stalls and carol singers and even fake snow. The boys had gone off on their own while Jen and Judy slowly browsed the stalls and Judy chatted to the vendors about some of her favorite pieces. When Judy got particularly deep into conversation about homemade organic soaps, Jen went to get them hot chocolates, returning to Judy quitely admiring necklaces at a jewelry stall. Before they left, the four of them each picked out a new ornament for the tree, and when Judy couldn’t pick between the penguin and the polar bear, Jen had been quick to suggest one of them could be her pick. Judy can’t help the smile that appears when she thinks about their decorations hanging next to each other on the tree. The tree they had decorated together that night while singing along and dancing to a cheesy Christmas playlist.

Jen has filled Judy’s December with unforgettable moments of Christmas happiness, and now here she is at the grocery store just two days before Christmas with Henry. They are picking up supplies for the cookie decorating party they have planned for the morning of Christmas Eve. Henry had insisted the regular decorations they already had would ruin the Christmas cookie theme so Judy had agreed to take him to the store. Jen had told her she didn’t need to _(“I wouldn’t even wish Christmas Eve Eve grocery shopping on Lorna.”),_ but Judy had insisted it was fine, and she truly meant it. If the Hardings were making Judy’s Christmas dreams come true, then the least she could do was help make Henry’s happen too.

Henry is browsing the sprinkles and carefully curating the perfect selection. As he turns to put his third and final pick in the cart Judy is patiently standing beside, he breaks into a huge smile and throws his arms around her waist, almost knocking her off balance.

“Wow, bud! Are you okay?” Judy asks, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

“I’m amazing! Thanks for bringing me here, Judy. The cookies are gonna be _sooooo_ good!” 

“Of course! We’ll have so much fun tomorrow.” Judy has always dreamed of making traditions like these with her family and she can’t believe her luck that Henry is so interested in baking with her. It almost feels too good to be true. And Judy’s heart feels like it grows three sizes more when she hears Henry’s voice, muffled against her, “I’m so happy you’re spending Christmas with us.” 

“I’m so happy to celebrate with you guys too!” Judy moves to ruffle Henry’s hair then pulls back a little in an effort to keep her emotions in check while at a busy store. _There’s always time for happy tears later._ She smiles down at Henry but he doesn’t seem ready to let go, a serious look washing over his face.

“I hope you never leave us.”

“Oh Henry,” Judy’s attempts to stay in control don’t last long when her heart now feels ready to burst. She pulls him in close again. “I’m not going anywhere. You know I love being with you all.”

“But what if you meet someone again? Like Michelle?”

“I don’t think that’ll happen any time soon. And hey, even if I have to move out someday you won’t ever lose me.”

“Promise?” Henry raises his pinky finger up to Judy, hope filling his eyes. Judy reaches out and wraps her finger around his.

“Promise.” 

Henry seems satisfied with that, giving her one last squish before letting go and moving on to the serious business of picking the most festive cookie cutter shapes he can find. 

For the rest of the shopping trip Judy is lost in her thoughts. She realises that it has been months since she has even considered going on a date with anyone, nevermind contemplated moving out. Between finding a home with Jen and the boys, and finding purpose and a creative outlet in her job at the assisted living facility, she has everything she’s ever dreamed of. Well, okay, maybe there is one thing that could make it better: Judy knows that she yearns for more from her relationship with Jen, knows that her feelings towards her best friend are a little more than platonic. She can’t stop the hope that blooms when she catches Jen quietly watching her – it had happened at the tree lighting and at the winter festival, and truthfully, it has happened most days recently. There’s so much softness in those looks, but Jen inevitably drags her eyes away. Each time Jen retreats back into herself, it confirms that Judy can’t push her luck by asking for more from Jen. She won’t risk scaring Jen and losing her in the process. Judy can be perfectly happy with everything she already has.

As they load the groceries into the car, Henry suddenly perks up again, “You and Mom should get married.”

Shocked is an understatement for Judy’s reaction. _Did Henry read my mind?_ Judy tries to calm her racing heart and figure out where the sudden exclamation came from.

“Why do you say that?”

“'Cause then you’ll have to stay.”

Relief flows through Judy as she follows his logic. She exhales and laughs lightly, “I’m not sure your mom would like that idea so much.” 

“I think she would. You make her really happy. And I think she wants to be happy.”

“Hmmm, maybe.” Judy doesn’t have the heart to disagree with him, and she’s not sure she even has an argument against his thinking anyway. They climb into the car and buckle themselves in before Henry continues to probe.

“You would like that too, right? You want to stay with us forever? You’re basically our other mom already.”

Judy feels her eyes well up as she meets Henry’s which are filled only with love. It’s not the first time she’s been casually referred to as their other mom but she can’t see herself getting used to that any time soon. 

“Yeah, I think that sounds perfect.” Judy smiles at Henry through the mirror then turns the car on. “Let’s head home.”

_Home._

Henry’s right; Judy can’t imagine ever wanting anything more than staying with her family in their beautiful home, forever. 

  


* * *

  


After his mom’s admission earlier in the afternoon, Charlie has noticed she’s been suspiciously quiet and was acting weird even around Judy. While making dinner Jen and Judy bumped into one another more than once and ended up burning the potatoes, their now familiar ease seemingly escaping them. 

Sitting around the dinner table feels like they have travelled back in time, back to before Judy had entered their lives and allowed laughter and chatter to fill their evenings again. Tonight, the conversation is stilted and Charlie notices his mom is drinking more wine than she has in a long time. Judy tries to discuss their plans for tomorrow but her usual excitement falls flat and even she can’t manage to dig them out of the weird tension coloring their night. Both women eventually retreat into their own worlds, leaving the boys to escape the table as soon as they finish eating.

Later that night Charlie decides he can’t keep the revelation to himself anymore after and goes to find Henry in his room.

“Mom and Judy seemed different at dinner, right?”

“I guess? They didn’t talk and laugh like usual.”

“I think I know why. Can you keep a secret?”

“I think so!”

“Mom likes Judy,” Charlie states, and seeing Henry’s confusion he tries to clarify. “She _like_ likes her. I made her tell me earlier and she’s been super weird since then.”

“Oh! I think Judy _like_ likes Mom too! At the store I said she should marry Mom and she said that sounded perfect.”

“What?” Charlie decides not to question why Henry was even suggesting marriage in the first place. “She really said that?”

“Yeah! But she said Mom probably wouldn’t like that idea,” Henry adds sadly.

“Oh my god, they are such idiots.”

“Hey, that’s mean!”

“I just mean, like, if they like each other and they both told us, then why aren’t they together?”

Henry shrugs innocently, looking to Charlie with a questioning look. Charlie can feel his mind going into overdrive as an idea starts to take shape. It’s incredibly cliché and so gross he can’t believe he even thought of it, but it just might work.

“We should help them,” he says with a smirk. As Charlie tells Henry the plan, he thinks his mom is going to owe him big time if tomorrow goes the way he hopes it will.


	2. much mistletoeing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all the lovely comments on the last chapter!! and i'm sorry this chapter took so long to get up, i got busy with work and then this ended up double the length i'd anticipated oops. 
> 
> anyway, thanks again to realthicbitch and berryforager for the beta and support 💜
> 
> hope you enjoy!!

After the boys make their escape from the awkward dinner, it isn’t long before Jen decides to remove herself too. She knows she’s the cause of the tension tonight – well, Charlie has a part to play here too – but she can’t seem to break herself out of her daze while in company. So rather than risking snapping at Judy and making things worse like she has been guilty of too many times before, Jen resolves to take some alone time to reset. 

When Jen excuses herself in as few words as possible, Judy mumbles about needing to do something in the guest house anyway. Jen knows it’s probably some task Judy invented on the spot, but she is thankful Judy seems to have gotten much better at sensing when Jen needs her space. It saves them both unnecessary pain.

Jen pours herself a large glass of wine before going upstairs and flopping down on her bed with a groan. 

Since Charlie left her alone this afternoon, having forced the admission out of her, Jen had been faced with no choice but to finally examine her feelings towards Judy. She has been sort of peripherally aware of her not-so-platonic feelings towards Judy recently, knowing they were there but not quite brave enough to look directly at them. Jen very much subscribed to the motto, _“if I don’t acknowledge the emotions, they will disappear.”_ But she wasn’t completely oblivious, and she knew there was something she was actively ignoring. So no, the forced admission wasn't the main cause of her spiralling. 

The spiral was due to Charlie’s insistence that they should be together. The way that he had put it forward as the only possible conclusion after viewing their relationship. And then there are the words which have been bouncing around her mind endlessly since Charlie said them: _have you seen how Judy looks at you?_

Jen hadn’t dared to indulge in the fantasy that Judy might like her back so Charlie’s words had sent her into a tailspin.

Now she has some time alone she tries to imagine what Charlie has been seeing, but nothing comes to mind. Judy looks at her the same way she looks at every living creature: with earnest care. And the recent sparkle in Judy’s eye had just been because Jen had been present for Judy experiencing joyful things. It wasn’t about Jen; it was about the festive spirit. 

Clearly Charlie is just confused, he's just a kid after all.

Comfortable in her conclusion that Judy simply has a zest for life and is affectionate by nature, and that Jen could comfortably push her own feelings back to the furthest edges of her mind (as she had been doing _so_ successfully before this afternoon), Jen finishes off her glass of wine and takes a shower. She lets the warm water wash away the tension of the day and changes into her pyjamas. She never would have picked out Christmas pyjamas for herself normally; the spontaneous purchase was just another in the long line of things she did to make Judy happy, and when Jen meets this realisation with a warm smile, she knows the daze has lifted. 

The same moment Jen settles under the covers, Judy slowly opens the door with a gentle knock. Jen briefly wonders if Judy intuitively knows that it’s safe to return, then almost eye rolls at herself for thinking something so _Judy_ and chalks it up to a good old coincidence. 

Judy hesitantly peers around the door, greeting Jen with a quiet _“Hi,"_ seeming to test the waters. Her eyes pour over Jen, assessing if things are better, and she must pick up on Jen’s more peaceful vibes because she lets out a breath and the tension drops from her shoulders. Judy closes the door softly behind her as she walks further into the room.

The initial caution in Judy’s actions instantly makes Jen’s defences crumble, kicking herself for being so out of control of her emotions she had such a big effect on Judy. It’s not Judy’s fault she is so lovable that it’s causing Jen to have a mid-life crisis. Judy shouldn’t be shouldering the burden of a crisis she isn’t even privy to, and yet that’s exactly what Jen’s actions had done.

Unable to be stuck in her own head any longer after seeing the impact she’s having on Judy, she musters up a soft smile and returns the greeting.

“Hi.”

“Are you feeling okay?” Judy asks.

“I’m fine, Judes.”

“Are you sure? If you need some space I can just grab my pyjamas and head to the guest house for the night. I really don’t mind.”

“Judy. No, stop. Seriously, I’m fine. I think I’m just tired.”

Jen feels bad about lying to Judy, but she’s confident in her conclusion that Judy is just feeling the festive spirit and she wills herself to believe the words she uttered to Charlie: _I'll get over it._ She doesn’t need to burden Judy with it. It’ll pass. 

“Okay, if you’re sure,” Judy replies, hesitancy still lacing her words.

“I am,” Jen states confidently, leaving no more room for argument. “Come to bed.”

“Alright, let me just get ready.”

After only a few sentences shared between them Jen and seeing Judy cheerfully puttering around getting ready, she is relieved to find herself feeling relatively normal again. It’s just a blip. Charlie got in her head – that’s all.

Once Judy has brushed her teeth and changed, she moves to her side of the bed and pulls back the covers. She looks so cute in her Christmas pyjamas — red plaid trousers with a grey top covered in little red reindeer and glittering silver snowflakes — that Jen has no control over the next comment that falls from her mouth. 

“Nice pyjamas.” Jen laughs with a smirk. 

Judy giggles, looking down at her own pyjamas before looking up, running her eyes over Jen who is wearing a matching pair. 

“Yours are pretty cute too!” Judy responds, beaming back at Jen.

“Mmm, they definitely look cuter on you.” 

Judy stares into Jen’s eyes like she’s given her the entire world, not just some festive pyjamas, before clambering into bed, switching off her lamp, and turning to face Jen. Seeing the soft look in Judy’s eyes that strikingly contrasts the cautious one she entered the room with only a moment ago, Jen can’t help but feel another wave of guilt for making their night so tense.

“Sorry for being weird at dinner.” 

“That’s okay, we’ve had a busy time with all these amazing activities.” 

Jen hums, not particularly wanting to go any deeper into the conversation. She turns to switch off her light and settles back down in the darkness. She accidentally moved towards Judy while shifting and now their faces are incredibly close. 

Judy is smiling at her so sweetly, her eyes warm and filled with love. 

“Thanks for giving me the best Christmas ever.”

“It’s not even Christmas yet.”

“You know what I mean.”

“You deserve it. I think we all do.”

In response, Judy’s gaze turns so bright it’s as though Jen gifted her the universe. 

_Have you seen how Judy looks at you?_

Jen realises now what Charlie must have been seeing. Being confronted with that look twice in as many minutes is like someone has hit play on a highlight reel of the past few weeks, festive activities flashing through her mind. Each memory book-ended with Judy looking at Jen like she’s given her everything and more. That was the look that had unwittingly fueled Jen to carry out daily research, hunting for new things they could do together, desperate to keep giving Judy that happiness. She had been doing it to create exactly this look and her conscious self wasn’t even aware.

Jen is thankful for the darkness and hopes it’s enough to keep Judy from picking up on her sudden tension. Not letting herself ruin the night for a second time, Jen turns on to her back as calmly as she can manage, takes a grounding breath, and whispers as gentle a _“Good night,”_ as she can muster into the air.

It’s not long until Jen hears Judy’s breathing even out. The moment she registers that Judy is asleep, the panic circulates round her body and her mind circles back to the look Judy just gave her. No, the look Judy has given her more times than she can even recall. 

The earnestness in Judy’s warm gazes hints that maybe something more is there, but maybe it’s just the Christmas spirit. Both times this evening were related to festive joy after all, as were all the memories that had just come to her. In a few short days the holidays will be over and she can re-address the issue then, can see if Judy still looks at her with as much love on a regular, boring January work day. And, besides, Judy hasn’t so much as hinted at making a romantic move so Jen certainly won’t be either. Definitely not when she risks ruining their near-perfect Christmas. 

Jen turns back on her side to face a sleeping Judy. She tells herself she can bring back her jolly spirit and ignore this voice in her head for a few more days if it will make Judy even a little happier. She can’t be the cause of any more of anguish. 

Jen closes her eyes and wills Judy’s rhythmic breaths to lull her to sleep.

  


* * *

  


The next day Jen wakes to an empty bed and realises Judy must have let her sleep in when she sees it’s after 9am already. She can hear the morning already underway in the kitchen so she drags herself out of bed and plods down the stairs. 

The boys are perched at the counter digging into pancakes and chatting away with Judy who has her back turned while she flips more pancakes on the stove. Jen walks in and round the kitchen island before Judy notices her.

“Oh! Morning!” Judy beams at her, before quickly grabbing a mug of fresh coffee and handing it to Jen. “Take a seat. Your breakfast is almost ready.”

Jen thanks Judy and does as she’s told. Jen peers over at Judy who seems to be taking an unusually long time to plate the pancakes she just flipped out the plan. Before long a plate of pancakes appears in front of her and Jen realises what took so long. Three pancakes overlap one another in decreasing size and are dusted in a layer of powdered sugar. Chocolate chips make up eyes and a mouth, blueberries become buttons, and slices of strawberry are placed to create a lovely red scarf. An unmistakable snowman smiles up at Jen from the plate.

“I’m sorry the nose is red – I couldn’t find anything orange.” Judy pouts a little, Jen now realising the nose must be a tiny piece of strawberry too. Judy shakes herself out of her creative funk and brings over her own plate to join the family.

“These are really amazing, Jude. You’ve outdone yourself,” Jen compliments her earnestly, before digging in. 

They sit together, happily tucking into their breakfast while Henry chats away excitedly about the Christmas Cookie Party they have planned for later that morning. He describes the different food colorings, cookie cutters and sprinkles he got at the shop yesterday with Judy and explains his creative vision for his portion of the decorating.

By the time they’ve cleared up from breakfast and Judy is taking the cookie dough she made before breakfast out the fridge, Charlie announces he has to go out for a while. 

“You’re not staying to make cookies?” Jen asks, surprised she’s actually a little sad he doesn’t want to join in.

“Nah, I’d rather eat them later.” Charlie smirks.

“Well okay, but be back for lunch. We’re watching the next movie on the Christmas watchlist.” 

Charlie rolls his eyes but promises to be back in time before making his escape. 

For the rest of the morning the kitchen is a flurry of Jen, Judy and Henry cutting out cookies and baking them in batches, dancing around the kitchen to cheesy Christmas songs, before decoration chaos ensues. There’s powdered sugar coating all the surfaces, green and red icing smeared across their hands, little white snowflakes and chocolate sprinkles being found everywhere. Jen usually can’t abide mess in the kitchen but she can’t deny that it’s more than worth the resulting joy pouring out of Judy and Henry.

Jen watches as Judy guides Henry while he draws a face on his reindeer cookie. When he’s happy with it Judy high-fives him and looks at him with eyes overflowing with pure love.

That’s _the_ look, and Judy is directing it at Henry. Jen’s theory is confirmed: it’s just a look brought on by festive joy and Judy’s natural affection. 

Jen doesn’t want to explore why this observation makes her heart drop a little.

She shakes herself out of the moment, remembering her promise to not ruin these next two days with her overthinking again, and continues decorating the tree shaped cookie in front of her.

***

When Charlie gets back home in the early afternoon, they all snuggle on the couch to watch _The Santa Clause 2._ Judy had mentioned that she hadn’t seen many Christmas films before so Jen and the boys created a Christmas must-sees watchlist at the beginning of December. Every few days they all gathered together to watch one. Sometimes Judy laughed and sometimes she cried, but every time without fail her face lit up with childlike wonder and she thanked them all sincerely for doing this with her.

They are about an hour into the film, all sitting quietly in a slight sugar coma after demolishing half the cookies between them already, when Scott/Santa magics up a bunch of toys at the school faculty Christmas party, fulfilling everyone’s childhood dreams including the principal teachers. Moments later, she is taking him out into the hall and thanking him, kissing him on the cheek, and then leaning in to kiss him properly. Right before the kiss, he pulls back and looks up as mistletoe magically appears above them.

“Oh, what the fuck dude? She was already going in for the kiss, that’s just weird,” Jen moans, her irritation evident. 

“Aw, I think it’s cute. He’s probably just nervous.”

“What’s he got to be nervous about? That was a sure thing.”

“Yeah, but… Elizabeth Mitchell is so beautiful.” Judy replies dreamily while watching the screen as they kiss, “Who wouldn’t be a little nervous?”

“I don’t know. Seems weird to me.” Jen huffs, while the boys remain completely silent on the matter. She thought they might back her up, given that they’re in the watching-kissing-is-icky-with-parents phase, but she guesses she’s been defeated this time and slouches back to watch the rest of the movie.

***

After the film, Jen catches Charlie nod weirdly at Henry before he excuses himself and goes upstairs. Jen figures that maybe his earlier trip was to get a last minute gift and Henry is in on the secret, so she lets it slide.

As Charlie leaves, Henry bounces up and grabs hold of Jen and Judy’s hands, tugging at them to get up. He motions towards the back yard as he tells them he has to show them the Holy Harmonies holiday showcase choreography they had been working on.

“Can’t you just do it here? It’s chilly outside today,” Jen asks, having gotten rather cosy under the blankets during the remainder of the film.

“Nope, needs to be outside. The cold will help you get in the Christmas mood,” he responds almost desperately.

“Come on, Jen,” Judy responds, letting herself be dragged up by Henry, “It’ll just be for a few minutes then we can have some hot chocolate to warm up again afterwards.”

“Ughh, fineeeee.” Jen tosses the blanket to the side and starts to follow them to the back door. “Don’t you think Charlie should watch too though?” Jen asks to noone in particular. 

As she starts to shout Charlie’s name Henry stops her, telling her to just leave him because he’s busy. His eyes widen a little like he’s just given away a secret, confirming Jen’s suspicions that Henry knew whatever Charlie was up to. Not wanting to make him spoil whatever the surprise was, she moves to join Judy who is already settling on to the outdoor couch.

Henry has borrowed Judy’s phone to play the music for his routine and once he makes sure his audience is comfortable and paying attention, he hits play and the first notes of Mariah singing _All I Want For Christmas Is You_ start playing.

While Henry quietly sings along, clearly more concentrated on his choreography, Jen wonders how this song can be anything "Holy". As the chorus picks up and Henry starts singing more loudly, shouting a little over some of the lyrics, her question is answered.

_I just want you for my own  
More than you could ever know  
Make my **prayer** come true  
**Jesus,** all I want for Christmas is you  
Yooouuu, **Jesus** ___

____

____

Jen has to hold back her laughter, trying to concentrate on being present for her son. But the next lyrics make it even harder.

_Oh, I won't ask for much this Christmas  
I won't even **pray** for snow  
And I, I just wanna keep on waiting  
Underneath the mistletoe ___

____

__

She can’t help but lean over to Judy this time, whispering, “Seriously, Christopher? Are they waiting for a kiss from Jesus?”

“Sounds like it,” Judy laughs.

“Again with the fuckin weird mistletoe.” 

“I don’t know, I still think it can be romantic sometimes.” Judy says a little dreamily again and smiles quickly at Jen before directing her eyes back to watch as Henry’s passion only continues to grow.

Jen tries to focus on watching Henry as he moves to his next routine, and she definitely doesn’t think about kissing Judy under mistletoe.

  


* * *

  


Later that evening Jen is sitting in the lounge waiting to leave for the Christmas Eve party Lorna is throwing. She had begrudgingly agreed to go after Judy had convinced her it was the nice thing to do, for Lorna and for the boys. Surprisingly, after such a relaxing and fun day with her favourite people, Jen can’t even bring herself to complain. Even Charlie and Henry seem content, not needing to be persuaded to dress up a little nicer than usual, putting on their nice shirts without question. 

The boys are playing some computer game at the kitchen counter, mumbling quietly to each other, while Jen sips her wine on the couch (she might be willing to go to this party but she certainly doesn’t want to face Lorna _and_ socialising while completely sober). She is already dressed in a fitted forest green suit accompanied by a black shirt and heels she knows she will regret wearing later – an outfit enthusiastically encouraged by Judy. 

After complimenting Jen, Judy had shooed Jen out of their room before she got changed, wanting to surprise Jen with the new dress she had bought herself, claiming it would go perfectly with Jen’s look to create a “sexy Christmas aesthetic.” Jen had rolled her eyes at that but let Judy have her way, retreating from their room ten minutes ago. 

In that short timespan Jen has cycled from amusement at Judy’s excitement to curiosity about where she had even managed to hide this mystery outfit, and she is now settling into a nervous anticipation of the big reveal. It’s objectively ridiculous to be nervous about seeing the woman she spends every waking (and sleeping) moment with, but that doesn’t stop her skin feeling like it’s vibrating. Jen might have managed to compartmentalise her not-so-platonic thoughts about Judy, but her body clearly missed the memo. She takes another gulp of wine to quell her racing pulse, and then Judy appears.

Judy pauses at the entryway as soon as she sees she has caught Jen’s attention. Jen can’t help herself from slowly raking her eyes down Judy’s body, talking her in. Her dress is burgundy, the exact shade of the wine in Jen’s glass. The chiffon fabric comes across one shoulder, leaving the other bare, Judy’s collarbone pronounced in this lighting. It comes in at the waist, accentuating Judy’s figure, before falling to just below her knee. She is wearing delicate strappy heels, the silver bands wrapping around her ankles matching the clutch she holds in one hand. Jen had already seen Judy as she did her hair and makeup: her hair is styled in its usual soft waves but she added some festive touches to her makeup, a shimmering silver shadow added to her eyes, highlighter dancing across her cheekbones, and a deep red to her lips. Jen had briefly appreciated the look before being exiled from their room, but seeing it in combination with the dress elevates the look to levels beyond Jen’s wildest imagination. She looks simply breathtaking.

When Jen eventually runs her eyes back up Judy’s body and meets a questioning look from Judy she realises she’s been silent for too long. Before she has a chance to try and string together a sentence, Judy’s voice breaks her trance.

“Well?” Judy prompts, quickly glancing down at herself and running her hands over the fabric, before nervously meeting Jen’s eyes again. “Do you like it?” 

“Yes, it’s gorgeous,” Jen responds incredulously, as if anyone could ever answer differently, then adds in a softer tone, “You look really beautiful, Jude.”

Judy’s face lights up at the compliment, her eyes shining and her smile as wide as it’s ever been. All of that energy is being channeled directly at Jen, the weight of it breaking down her defences. Judy is very obviously feeling herself tonight and the confidence only serves to make Judy all the more attractive. She can feel her cheeks flush and her pulse quicken and she hopes that if Judy notices she blames the wine she is still clutching. 

Jen’s only thought is wondering how it would feel to kiss Judy’s smile.

_So fuckin’ much for compartmentalising._

Jen knows she should stop staring now, should tear her eyes away from Judy’s, but there’s something in the simultaneous softness and confidence in Judy’s gaze tonight that keeps Jen locked in place. 

Jen registers that Judy doesn’t seem to be in any rush to break the moment either. 

Just as Jen can feel her mind gearing up to over analyze what that might mean, the spell is broken by Charlie clearing his throat and Henry jumping down from his chair. 

“Judy, that’s such a pretty dress!” Henry exclaims, “We should take a picture!”

“Oh, I don’t know boop. We should really get going. Don’t want to be late to the party,” Jen replies, standing up and taking a couple of steps towards the door, stopping by Judy’s side.

“Maybe we can just take a quick one?” Judy hesitantly says, reaching out for Jen’s arm. Jen melts under Judy’s touch and knows she would do anything Judy asks of her in that moment, already mentally changing her stance on the photo-taking before Judy gently adds, “It would be nice to have the memory.” 

Before Jen can verbalise her agreement, Charlie is telling them to stand with their backs against the sofa as he sets his phone upright against a bowl on the kitchen counter. Jen and Judy share a confused look at Charlie’s willing engagement in having his photo taken as they shuffle to follow his directions. With a shrug and smile from Judy, Jen decides not to question his actions. 

Jen comes to a stop in front of where Charlie's phone is sitting, Judy following closely behind and wrapping an arm around Jen’s waist. Henry comes to stand to Judy’s right, cuddling into her side as she rests her other hand on his shoulder. Once the timer is set and Charlie is happy they’re all in frame, he hits the button and moves to stand to Jen’s left. 

“Say cheese!” Judy shouts a little too enthusiastically as the timer hits 3 seconds to go, making the whole family smile in response as the photo is taken.

Charlie is quick to move and check the photo, barely taking a glance before declaring it is great. Then Jen notices him look to Henry, eyes widening almost imperceptibly at him. The second bizarre action from Charlie in as many minutes spikes Jen’s curiosity but before she can ask him what’s going on, her thoughts are once again interrupted by Henry. 

“Now a picture of you two!”

Henry is looking between her and Judy with an excitement that seems to have him vibrating. Jen’s instant reaction to recoil from the camera is dampened when she feels Judy, her arm still around Jen’s waist, tighten her grasp a little. When Jen looks to her side she sees Judy smiling at her, and she can’t bring herself to deny the pure happiness of two of her favourite people.

“That would be nice. We don’t really have any photos together. Plus, we make a perfect Christmas pair tonight,” Judy adds, looking between their muted green and red outfits.

_Ah, that’s what Judy meant by “sexy Christmas aesthetic”._

“Okay, fine. Let’s do this quickly though – we need to get going,” Jen replies, indicating for Charlie to take the picture.

Charlie raises his phone but makes a face and then declares they need to move.

“Umm,” he starts, fumbling to find some words, “The lighting isn’t good. Go stand over there.” Charlie rushes away, pointing quickly towards the archway into the room. 

“Charlie, the lighting has not just changed in the past thirty seconds.” Jen retorts, but Judy is already moving back to the spot she had taken Jen’s breath away a few moments ago, so Jen huffs and follows. 

Henry bounds over too, looking rapidly between the women and his brother. Jen briefly questions if she should have stopped him eating so many cookies earlier given the clear excess of energy he still has. And as Charlie starts to line up the shot Jen wonders when he suddenly became so interested in photography, having only ever seen him put this much energy into a snapchat selfie, whatever the fuck that is.

“Step back a little. A little more. And left, left, le–”

 _“Charlie,”_ Jen warns, but she feels the rising irritation dissipate as quickly as it arrived when Judy once again squeezes her waist reassuringly. 

Charlie only smirks in response and then, clearly having decided the position was good enough, glances over to Henry who seems to take the cue and, the words bursting out of him, he practically yells, “Look up!!!”

Jen and Judy simultaneously look above them. It takes a moment for Jen to figure out what she’s meant to be looking at, eyes glancing over the decorative garland adorning the archway they are standing beneath. And then, directly above her head, nestled within the greenery, she spots a small bunch of mistletoe hanging down. 

“Where the fuck did that come from?” Jen asks. 

She wonders if Judy had somehow managed to go out and get it as a joke after Jen’s clear dislike for it earlier in the day, but one glance at Judy who looks shocked, a faint blush spreading across her cheeks, disproves that theory. Jen looks over to the boys, and the smirk on Charlie’s face answers the question before she even asks it, “You did this?”

Before Charlie has a chance to respond Henry’s excitement once again gets the better of him and he is announcing, “You have to kiss now! It’s the rules!”

The confusion now subsiding, Jen feels a panic rising in her chest; she can’t believe that Charlie would go this far. She can’t even bring herself to look at Judy and decides she has to try to brush it off for both their sakes, “Oh, that’s just a silly game boop.” 

Judy laughs nervously as she agrees but Jen feels her hand tensing against her waist.

“Kiss! Kiss!” Henry chants, completely ignoring Jen.

“Come on, it’s clear you both want to,” Charlie adds quickly.

Jen and Judy whip their heads towards him, and Jen is in complete disbelief that Charlie would actually betray her like this. She directs a sharp _“Charlie!”_ at him, begging him to stop.

Apparently unphased by the warning, Charlie rolls his eyes (which almost sets Jen off on a tirade) and then he adds, “You are both so dumb, oh my _god.”_

Jen and Judy are both still staring at Charlie in stunned silence, seemingly unable to find the confidence to look at the other.

Being met with silence, Charlie continues, “Since the mistletoe apparently isn’t enough of an excuse… Mom, you told me you like Judy, and–” 

The panic in her chest now threatens to suffocate her, and she can sense Judy turning to look at her but she keeps her eyes trained on her oldest son, “What the _fuck,_ Charlie?!”

“Mom, stop! Judy told Henry she likes you too.”

“The mistletoe is waiting...” Henry adds innocently.

It takes a moment for Jen’s brain to catch up with the words she just heard: _Judy likes her too?_

Stunned into silence, Jen finally turns to look at Judy and is met with so much warmth and love she can’t deny it any longer. 

“Are they right?” Jen asks, already seeing the answer as she searches Judy’s eyes.

Judy nods softly, eyes getting misty, and with the gentlest smile Judy is saying the words Jen hadn’t even let herself dream she might one day hear, “Kiss me, Jen.”

Jen feels the tension leave her body, falling into Judy’s words and getting lost in the honey pools of her eyes. She glances down at Judy’s smiling lips, not quite believing she is about to get the answer to her earlier wonderings. Jen brings her hand up to cup Judy’s face, gently brushing her thumb over her cheek as their eyes meet again. She smiles as she leans in and Judy meets her halfway. 

As their lips connect for the first time Jen is overcome by the softness of it all: Judy’s lips melting into her own, Judy’s skin beneath her fingertips, Judy’s hand caressing her lower back. 

_Judy._

Judy has always been synonymous with softness.

When Jen pulls back reluctantly, deciding not to deepen the kiss with the kids watching, she finds a flushed Judy giggling, seeming to bubble over in pure delight. 

Charlie and Henry remind them of their presence with a chorus of a muttered, “Finally,” and an overjoyed, “It worked!!”

Jen can’t help the laugh that falls out of her then, every cell of her being filled with relief and happiness and _Judy._

She leans in for another kiss because she can’t help herself now she’s been given permission. This time they are met with a _“Gross.”_ from her older son. 

“What did you think was gonna happen, wise guy? Didn’t think that one all the way through, huh?” Jen responds, being met with an eye roll she can’t help but laugh at, “Alright, alright. Go get in the car – we’re gonna be late.”

The boys move towards the garage and Judy goes to follow the instruction too, but Jen grabs for her hand just in time and spins her back into her arms beneath the mistletoe. Without giving Judy a chance to process what’s happening she draws her in for another kiss, this time deeper, more intense. Once Judy’s body catches up she responds eagerly; her tongue swiping across Jen’s lower lip, her hands find the lapels of Jen’s blazer and pull her in closer, a moan escaping into their kiss as their bodies meld together.

Too soon for Jen’s liking, Judy is pulling back from the kiss, breathless. As Judy catches her breath Jen just stares at her. Jen knows that the smile breaking across her face is bigger than one she ever lets herself have but she feels no need to reign it in. Judy matches it with one of her own, then a small smirk forms.

“I told you mistletoe kisses could be nice,” Judy teases Jen, who can’t help but laugh and admit defeat.

“Okay, I guess this one was pretty nice.”

Jen sneaks in one more quick peck of the brunette’s smile before grabbing Judy’s hand and moving towards the garage, via the couch to pick up their purses and Judy’s coat, “Come on, we should go.”

Judy almost whines, “If we have to...” 

Jen turns back over her shoulder just before they reach the door, taking in the slightly disheveled woman trailing behind her and she chuckles softly, “I hope you have your lipstick with you because we’re gonna have to fix it in the car.”


	3. hearts will be glowing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy christmas eve to all who celebrate! this is probably a terrible time to be posting but I wanted to get it up before christmas 🎄 
> 
> this chapter got away from me a little and took much longer to write than I'd anticipated, but yay for more words i guess? hope you enjoy them!
> 
> also a massive thank you to PatsyDecline for helping out with this chapter ❤️

When they had pulled up to the party earlier that evening, it hit Jen that her relationship with Judy had changed, fairly dramatically, and they hadn’t actually talked at all about what that meant. They were about to spend the next few hours surrounded by colleagues, family and friends, and Jen had no idea how to act.

The party had begun with the boys scattering to find the other kids, while Lorna instantly swept Jen up to schmooze some clients. Judy had the good sense to grab them each a glass of wine, before coming to Jen’s side. For the first hour or so, Jen couldn’t bring herself to come into contact with Judy at all, but the electricity between them was palpable. After their kiss under the mistletoe, the next touch seemed too important to waste on a polite meaningless gesture at a party. The longer the conversation with the clients went on, the more Jen spiralled thinking about this confusing gray area between them now. Sure, Judy liked her, that much was clear. But how much? Were they just together now? Or were they going to start casually dating? Was this all just a light flirtation, the Christmas spirit going to Judy’s head?

Done with professionalism, client mingling eventually turned into tipsy chats with Christopher and Alan and they could huddle around the tree and relax a little. Not much, not here, but enough that Jen could breathe a little. Judy was the one to bridge the gap first; a hand on Jen’s arm while she was telling a story, then a gentle touch on her back as she excused herself to get them refills. It felt like maybe she had permission now. Maybe now Jen could reach out, like every cell in her body was screaming out to, and touch Judy, and feel her warmth. When Judy returned Jen couldn’t stop herself from wrapping an arm around Judy’s waist, holding her tight against her side. There’s still the slight worry running through her, the unease of exploring this new thing in public, but mostly it’s exciting and the animated conversation about Alan’s new business venture disappears into background fuzz as Jen thinks about Judy happily pressed against her.

Jen had expected Christopher to make a comment about their closeness. She tried to prepare what she’d say, what kind of polite side stepping of the issue she would have to do but the thought seemed to melt into the warmth of Judy sitting beside her; Jen’s hand moulding perfectly to the curve of Judy’s waist, as though it belongs there. She didn’t want to ever let go now.

It’s not like they hadn’t stood like this before, but now Jen has finally allowed herself to acknowledge it, to feel it, to luxuriate in all that is Judy. And when Judy’s hand found the small of her back, her gentle hand slipping underneath Jen’s blazer, thumb lazily stroking as they talked, the thin material of Jen’s shirt was not quite enough to stop her skin from being set ablaze. And Christopher said nothing, and neither did Lorna later in the evening when she joined them. Neither gave so much as a second look at their physical intimacy. 

Jen was struck by the realisation that, superficially, apparently nothing had changed between them, that Jen and Judy clinging to each other was nothing outside of normal now, and the absurdity of Jen considering just dating Judy hit her all at once; they were practically married already. 

It’s late on Christmas Eve when they all pile into Uber and head home, Henry leaning into her side as he tries to fight sleep, the exhaustion of the day catching up with him, while Charlie sits on the far side scrolling on his phone. Judy is in the front, her side profile illuminated by streetlights as she chats cheerily to the driver about their Christmas Day plans. As Judy tells the driver that she’s just excited to spend the day with her family, she glances back to the back seat and beams at Jen. Jen returns the smile, no longer able to contain herself, and wonders how she ever persuaded herself there was anything less than wholehearted love in Judy’s gaze. It’s so obvious now.

Judy’s smile makes her think it’s all going to be okay. She can forget for a moment, the uncertainty about where they stand and this huge new thing between them that is just looming undiscussed. 

Jen might not know exactly where it is they’re standing, but one flash of Judy’s smile, the one that had been sent her way multiple times during their evening, and was being thrown at her again from the front seat as they pull up to their house… that smile makes Jen think that wherever it is they are, it must be nearing perfection.

When they get inside everyone heads straight upstairs, Charlie retreating to his room while Jen and Judy kick off their shoes and shirt off their coats before going to tuck Henry in. As he clambers under the covers, the women perch on either side of his bed to say their goodnights. 

“I’m so happy you’re going to stay with us forever now, Judy,” Henry says casually as he gets himself comfortable.

It feels anything but casual to Jen.

Jen is once again very aware of the fact she hasn’t had the chance to talk things through with Judy yet, she has no idea if Henry’s words are too strong. It seems like a pretty huge assumption on the same night as their first kiss. 

She looks over to Judy whose eyes are misty and has her heartstopping smile plastered across her face as she grins back at Henry, and Jen releases the breath she hadn’t realised she was holding. 

Before either can respond though, Henry (who apparently doesn’t have any concept of how big the words he just uttered are) is fighting off a yawn as he changes the subject to his excitement about Christmas being only a little over an hour away.

“Come on then, time to sleep,” Jen says, realising Henry definitely needs to get to sleep soon considering the ungodly hour he’s going to wake them up at in the morning.

“Can’t we read the book?” Henry asks, complete with puppy eyes. 

Henry and Judy had been reading Christmas stories together throughout December, something they each seemed to enjoy as much as the other. Sometimes Jen would join them but more often than not she would let them have their moment together. Judy would always tell her all about it after Henry had gone to sleep anyway, and Jen thinks she might enjoy Judy’s enthusiastic recounting of their story time just as much as being present for it, perhaps even more. 

Last night Judy and Henry had read _Polar Express_ with the plan to read _‘Twas The Night Before Christmas_ tonight, Judy telling Jen that they had agreed it would be criminal to not read it on Christmas Eve, even if it was a little childish. Judy gives Jen a look signalling that she doesn’t want to speak over Jen but she would love to read a little. 

“Okay, as long as it won’t take too long. You have to get to sleep soon so Santa can come.” 

Jen receives matching grins from Henry and Judy in return as they assure her they will be finished quickly and Judy grabs the book from the shelf and shuffles in next to Henry so they can both see.

“Alright then. Goodnight, boop. I love you,” Jen says as she gives him a kiss on the forehead, feeling her heart warming at the wholesome scene in front of her.

“Love you too, Mom!” Henry responds, already getting distracted by the book in front of him.

Jen pauses at the doorway on her way out and listens as Judy starts to read and immediately gets immersed in her role. After indulging for a moment Jen decides to leave them to have their time together and goes to visit Charlie before heading back downstairs. She knows she should probably check in with him about the events of the evening.

“Knock, knock,” Jen says, as she pushes open Charlie’s door which he’d left ajar. 

“Hey,” he replies, looking up from his phone. After a moment of Jen trying and failing to figure out what exactly she wants to discuss with him, Charlie breaks the silence, “So quite a day, huh?” he asks, a smirk instantly taking over his face.

“You’re such a little shit,” Jen replies. She was hoping her tone would be somewhat serious, but she finds herself unable to fully bite back the smile that forms at the memory of the earlier mistletoe moment orchestrated so expertly by Charlie.

“Just thought you needed some help. I mean, you seem pretty happy with the result,” Charlie teases with a shrug.

“Hmm…” Jen can’t bring herself to deny he has a point there, “I could have done without the heart attack first though.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Oh, sure you are,” Jen chuckles. Looking at Charlie now, who is smiling back at her, Jen realises just how lucky she is to have such a loving son, one who is so accepting of her finding love again so soon after the loss of his father. She sees now how much he has matured recently. Jen’s chest floods with pride and she has to let him know she’s grateful for what he did, even if it did almost kill her in the moment, “I guess I owe you a ‘thanks’.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m brilliant,” he tries to play it off cooly, but Jen can see the hint of pride in his eyes. Then his face softens a little and he’s telling Jen, “You better not mess this up after all my hard work.”

Jen can’t help but laugh and send an eye roll his way, “Alright, get to sleep soon. Love you.”

“Love you too, Mom,” Charlie replies. Jen smiles and goes to leave but before she can Charlie is calling out, “Also, you might want to take a look at the photos I just sent. You two are _so_ gross.” 

“Again: what did you think was gonna happen?” 

Jen is met with an eye roll and a final goodnight wish which she takes as her hint to leave him be. 

As she heads downstairs to wait for Judy, Jen finds her mind once again spiralling around words muttered by Charlie: _“You better not mess this up.”_

Jen suddenly realises that she is about to be alone with Judy for the first time since they kissed and she has no idea how the fuck she is meant to act. She _knows_ they need to talk about it, need to figure out what this step means for them, together. But she doesn’t know how to have that conversation. What if she comes across too strong? Or not strong enough? What if she scares Judy off before they’ve even really begun? How does she not mess this up? That is her speciality, after all.

After nervously pacing for a while, Jen forces herself to settle into the couch and she turns on the television in a slight moment of panic. She finds a channel playing _Miracle on 34th Street_ and puts it on, finding comfort in a familiar background distraction. She takes a deep breath and tries to remind herself that this is Judy. 

Judy who is currently upstairs reading to their son on Christmas Eve; Judy who has been the single greatest source of comfort in Jen’s life; Judy who asked Jen to kiss her. 

Judy who has encouraged Jen to be the best version of herself a hundred times over. 

Maybe if it’s for Judy, Jen can stumble through this next uneasy moment and make it to the other side a better version of herself once more. 

***

Judy finishes reading with Henry, who somehow manages to make it to the end of the book before passing out, and makes her way downstairs to Jen. Although Judy’s overjoyed at their relationship progressing, she still isn’t sure how she should act alone with Jen. But Jen reached out for her at the party earlier and it had just felt so right.

Judy guesses that if Jen had been talking about her feelings with Charlie then they must be pretty serious, so she’s not too worried about Jen backing out. But she’s very aware that Jen has already been pushed out of her comfort zone and Judy doesn’t want to risk pushing her any further; she doesn’t want to risk Jen putting her protective guard up tonight. So as she pauses in the doorway, taking in the sight of Jen snuggled into the couch watching the television, Judy is still trying to figure out how to balance her actions, how to let Jen know she wants this while not coming across too strong.

Jen seems to sense Judy’s presence, instantly softening and a breathtaking smile settling across her face. 

“God, you’re _so_ beautiful,” Jen says dreamily, almost as if she doesn’t even realise she’s speaking, eyes roaming over Judy. Judy is still wearing her dress, but she’s now barefoot and her hair is a little disheveled after lying down to read with Henry. 

Judy feels herself blushing as she moves to sit on the couch. She wants to be close, wants nothing more than to revel in Jen’s warmth, but hesitancy still laces her actions. Judy decides to angle herself toward Jen, arm on the back of the couch, hand propping up her tilted head. 

“Thank you,” Judy eventually responds, “You’re not so bad yourself.” 

Judy’s gaze is unwavering, hoping Jen can see how much she means it, how much more she wants to say. Seeing Jen’s smile widen Judy reaches out her hand, gently resting it on Jen’s lower thigh. Judy can practically feel the sparks between them. She psyches herself up to lean in for a kiss, increasingly confident that it’s what Jen wants too, that it won’t scare her off, when Jen breaks the moment, suddenly remembering the phone she’s been holding this whole time.

“Charlie just sent us the pictures from earlier,” Jen says, angling her phone to show Judy the photo of all four of them. Judy shuffles a little to see it properly, leaning into Jen’s side. Jen instinctively wraps her arm around Judy’s shoulders, pulling her in closer. Judy thinks the gesture feels something like home.

“It turned out surprisingly well considering it was all a rouse,” Jen chuckles, and Judy reaches over to zoom in on their faces, each one plastered with a genuine smile that reaches their eyes.

“We do scrub up pretty well, huh?” Judy says, zooming back out to look at them all together. She feels herself tearing up realising this is her family. 

Before she lets herself get lost in the moment she flicks to the next photo: it’s one of Judy looking amused while Jen looks irritated, taken while Charlie was secretly guiding them into position. 

“Oh god, that’s not flattering,” Jen groans and flicks through the next photos. 

The next one is Jen and Judy both looking upwards curiously; and the one after that is Jen looking towards the camera – well, towards Charlie – with a mix of confusion and anger taking over her face; in the following photo Judy is looking towards Jen now, and Judy reaches out to zoom in on Jen’s face, she can clearly see the fear and the panic behind her eyes.

“This is just embarrassing. Why did he even take all these?!” Jen says, clearly irritated, dropping the phone to her lap.

“No, I think it’s nice. Come on, let’s keep looking,” Judy responds, squeezing Jen’s thigh reassuringly with one hand and picking up the phone with her other. 

The next photo Charlie captured is of them both gazing at each other. Judy thinks it must be right after Judy asked Jen to kiss her; she can almost feel the adrenaline rush of that moment again, the anticipation and the fear as she spoke the words aloud, the thrill when Jen didn’t laugh or pull away. 

Judy quickly flicks to the next picture and sees them kissing: Jen’s hand gently cupping Judy’s cheek while Judy’s hand rests against Jen’s lower back. Judy feels her cheeks flush, the memory of their kiss, the overwhelming softness and warmth of it all, washing over her once more. She leans back a little and twists to look up at Jen, who still has her eyes glued on the picture.

“I still can’t believe they did that.” Jen seems a little dazed, eyebrow slightly furrowed as she stares at the photo.

“Are you okay?” Judy asks, worried she is sensing Jen slipping into a spiral.

Judy’s words seem to break Jen out of her thoughts and she puts down the phone by her side and meets Judy’s eyes. Judy is still struggling to figure out what Jen is thinking though, so she just holds still, willing Jen to make the next step, whatever she feels comfortable with.

“We really are idiots, huh?” Jen softens, reaching out to mindlessly play with a piece of Judy’s hair.

“Seems that way,” Judy replies, relieved Jen seems to be broaching the subject, even if it is slowly.

“You really spoke to Henry about this? You were that desperate?” Jen questions, and Judy can tell she’s trying to tease her to lighten the mood, to relieve some of the thick tension in the air between them.

“Hey!” Judy laughs and she lightly hits Jen on the thigh, then leaves her hand a little higher than it was before, offering a gentle, reassuring stroke of her thumb, “It’s not like I could talk to my best friend about it.”

They both laugh and Judy loves the sound so much she tries to make it continue, teasing Jen in return, “And besides, you spoke to a teenage boy!”

Jen groans, clearly a little embarrassed at that revelation, but Judy’s glad Jen has picked up on Judy’s light tone and she laughs again while offering a simple, “Touché,” in response.

Judy settles back into Jen’s side, happy to take this piece of comfort for now, not wanting to push Jen any further after just pulling her back from the brink of a spiral. They fall into a comfortable silence as they watch the film and it’s not long before Judy feels Jen sink further into the couch as the tension leaves her body. 

Judy thinks back on the pictures and she is overcome with gratitude; she has a family and a home of her own, she’s nestled in the arms of the love of her life, and she’s only an hour away from finally having the perfect Christmas Day she had always dreamed of. 

Judy closes her eyes as she basks in the moment, body flooding with warmth and feeling more at peace than she can remember ever being.

The next thing Judy knows, she’s hearing a soft voice saying _“Hey, sleepyhead,”_ and feeling a hand stroking her shoulder. Her eyes flicker open to see the film credits rolling across the screen. She turns her head to the side and sees Jen smiling at her cautiously, then in her peripheral vision she catches a glimpse of something green hovering above her head. In her sleepy haze it takes Judy a second to realise Jen is holding the mistletoe between them.

Judy can see both the nerves and hope in Jen’s face and she realises then that Jen must still be unsure about this whole thing. They still haven’t really discussed where they stand, after all, and Judy doesn’t want Jen to worry for a second longer.

Judy leans back and rearranges herself to face Jen again, then she reaches up to take the mistletoe from Jen’s hand and puts it on the table in front of them. When she looks back at Jen she finds fallen eyes and can feel the tension emanating from Jen again. She knows she has to quickly put an end to Jen’s doubt.

“Hey, look at me,” Judy says as she reaches out to place a hand on Jen’s cheek, gentle pressure urging Jen to meet her eyes. Jen takes a breath and matches her gaze with a nervous look. “You don’t need an excuse to kiss me, Jen.”

Jen's face instantly softens and once again the tension in her shoulders dissipates before Judy’s eyes. 

“I thought you said it was romantic?” Jen smirks back, thankfully recovering quickly from her flash of disappointment.

“Well, it was romantic earlier,” Judy giggles and then she shrugs, “But we don’t need that anymore.” 

Judy strokes her thumb over Jen’s cheek then glances down at her mouth, Judy’s thumb dances across Jen’s lower lip before she leans in to kiss her. When Jen responds – one hand moving to tangle in Judy’s hair and the other finding a home on her waist – Judy feels herself melt into Jen. She can’t help the moan that escapes her throat moments later when Jen deepens their kiss, and Judy quickly darts her tongue out to swipe across Jen’s lower lip. When Jen opens her mouth to Judy, she loses herself completely in the heat of the moment.

When they eventually pull apart to catch their breath, their foreheads resting together, Judy can’t deny she’s a little surprised when she hears a whispered _“I love you”_ escape the blonde’s mouth. Judy sits back to find glistening green eyes sparkling at her, finding in them the love she always hoped she would discover.

“I love you, too,” the words tumble out of Judy’s mouth like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Judy thinks maybe it is. She finds she can’t stop herself from clarifying, “I'm _in_ love with you, Jen. I think I have been for a while now, but I don’t think I’ve been very good at hiding it recently,” Judy adds shyly. 

Judy knows the way she’s been looking at Jen whenever she has surprised her with a festive activity over the past few weeks and she knows there’s been very little that’s platonic about it. She truly did try to keep it in check in the beginning, but with Jen doing so much, so frequently to make sure Judy has a perfect Christmas... Well, who can blame her for eventually losing control of her reactions?

“I’m surprised you didn’t notice?” Judy quickly adds, trying to subtly prod Jen to open up a little.

“I guess I did notice, but I just assumed it was the Christmas spirit taking over,” Jen laughs, but Judy can tell she feels a little embarrassed at the admission.

“It has been a bit of festive joy,” Judy admits with a giggle and then she decides to put it all out on the table, “but everything has been so enjoyable because it’s been with you and the boys, because you put so much thought and effort into making this month great for us. You’ve let me experience a Christmas filled with family magic. I was already falling for you, but every little thing you have done these past few weeks has just made me fall deeper by the day. Nobody has ever made me feel so loved, Jen. I was hoping with a little time you might realise what was going on, I hoped you really did feel the way it seemed like you did... I can't say I'm mad Charlie hurried you along with your thinking there."

“I suppose I’m pretty happy with the result too,” Jen laughs, then she takes Judy’s hand in her own and turns more serious, “So you really want this? Us?”

“More than anything. Us, the boys. All of this. It’s everything I could ever want and more.” Judy responds earnestly.

“You might regret that, but if you’re all in then so am I,” Jen replies with a smile breaking across her face, “I don’t know how I got so lucky.”

Judy can’t find any more words so she surges forward, lips colliding with Jen’s passionately. The kiss gets deeper quickly, tongues exploring and hands roaming. Judy _needs_ to be closer so she throws a leg over Jen, settling down to straddle her thighs. Jen’s hands come to rest on either side of Judy’s waist, pulling her further into her lap, and Judy swears she feels Jen grind her hips up a little. Judy moves her hands to frame Jen’s face, holding her close, never wanting this magical moment to end.

Too soon Jen pulls away, breathing heavy, and one hand lands firmly on Judy’s shoulder – it’s as though Jen needs the physical barrier to stop herself from leaning back into Judy.

“We have one last activity we need to do tonight,” Jen says once her breath evens out and Judy can’t stop the small groan she lets out, just wanting to finally have all of Jen now she’s had a taste. 

“You’re gonna like this one, though. Promise,” Jen replies with a wink, quickly leaning in to peck Judy’s lips one more time before tapping Judy’s hips to indicate she needs to move so Jen can get up.

“What is it?” Judy asks, reluctantly extracting herself from Jen’s lap while contemplating what could be so important just before midnight on Christmas Eve.

Jen stands up and instantly wraps her arms back around Judy’s waist, “It’s time to be Santa.”

Judy can’t stop the tears that form the second she hears those words as she wraps Jen into a hug, burying her face into her neck.

“I’m not sure Henry really still believes but he’s clinging to it still for this year… we both are, I guess. So we need to quietly bring the gifts down now he’s asleep.”

For as long as Judy can remember she’s longed for kids, for a family to spend Christmas with. She’s dreamed about creating festive traditions and seeing the pure joy on her kids faces on Christmas morning. And it hits her full force, the fact that all of this is happening right now.

“Thank you, Jen,” Judy mumbles into Jen’s neck.

“For what?” Jen pulls back to find Judy’s eyes, looking a little confused.

“For including me, for making my dreams come true,” Judy replies, laughing a little at how cheesy the words are, but it doesn’t stop her from truly meaning it.

Jen leans in to give her a quick kiss and then spins Judy around, placing her hands on her waist and guiding her towards the stairs. Together they retrieve the sacks of gifts Jen had hidden in the closet in the spare room – the ones the boys had evidently discovered – as well as the additional batch Jen had hidden deep in her own closet, the ones labelled _“From Santa”._

Judy is still a little teary as she arranges four piles of gifts perfectly under the tree: two piles each for Charlie and Henry, a set from Jen and another set from Santa. Judy remembers she needs to bring her own gifts in from their hiding place in the guest house. She tells Jen she’ll be back in a moment.

It takes Judy a little while to gather all her gifts for Jen and the boys together and when she comes back in from the backyard she sees Jen perched on the ground by the tree next to a huge fifth pile of gifts. It’s only as she comes closer she sees they are all labelled _“To Judy”_ and she lets out a gasp, only just managing to stop the presents in her arms from falling to the ground.

“Jen, what have you done?” Judy is awestruck, not believing that Jen had really done all this for her, on top of everything else she had already organised. 

“Uhm, I _might_ have gotten a little carried away… Charlie actually saw me wrapping them the other day and that’s when he cornered me into telling him I liked you,” Jen blushes at the confession.

“Awwww, you really _do_ like me, huh?” Judy teases Jen, lightening the mood a little having seen Jen get uncomfortable after her admission. 

Judy sinks to her knees next to Jen, arranging the gifts in her arms into another few piles. Once everything is in place Jen and Judy stand, staring down at the gifts sprawling across the floor, unable to fit neatly underneath the tree. With a yawn from Judy they agree it’s time to head to sleep, knowing Henry is going to be waking them up in a few short hours.

In their room they start getting ready to bed, taking turns in the bathroom before brushing their teeth and taking off their makeup side-by-side at the sink. As they walk back into the bedroom together Judy notices the clock.

“Hey, look,” Judy grabs Jen’s arm with one hand while the other points towards the clock which reads 12:06. When Jen glances then looks back to Judy confused, she continues, “It’s Christmas, Jen!” and moves to drape her arms over Jen’s shoulders.

“Hmm, so it is,” the blonde smiles, wrapping her arms around the brunette’s waist and once again they’re kissing, just because they can.

“This is going to be the best one yet,” Judy says between kisses, moving to pepper light kisses down Jen’s neck, a hand moving to tangle in golden hair.

“I certainly like how it’s starting,” Jen hums in reply, her smirk audible in her tone.

“Oh yeah? Maybe I can give you your first present now?” 

Judy presses kisses into Jen’s neck, working her way back up and nibbling on the soft skin below her ear, before kissing across her cheek and back to her mouth. As her tongue finds Jen’s again, Judy can feel Jen gripping the fabric of her dress and pulling Judy impossibly closer as she moans into Judy’s mouth. Judy feels the vibrations against her tongue and a wave of arousal ripples through her body in reply.

Encouraged by Jen’s obvious desire Judy pulls back just enough to untuck Jen’s shirt from her trousers, wanting to feel more of Jen’s warmth. Judy runs her hands slowly across Jen’s smooth stomach and ghosts around her waist, delighting in Jen’s responsive shiver. She drags her nails lightly up Jen’s back to test what response it will illicit. Judy can’t believe her luck when Jen’s head drops forward onto Judy’s bare shoulder and, after just a moment's pause, Jen begins to litter kisses down Judy’s neck and then along collarbones. 

If this is Jen’s response to a simple touch of Judy’s fingers to her back, Judy can’t wait to see how Jen reacts to Judy’s hands roaming lower on her body.

After allowing herself to luxuriate in Jen’s wet kisses and memorise the feel of Jen’s teeth scraping against her skin, Judy manages to start unbuttoning Jen’s shirt which, in turn, spurs on Jen to find the zip hidden in the fabric on Judy’s side. As Jen pulls the zip down she reluctantly pulls back, her darkened eyes meeting Judy’s. The obvious want Judy finds there sends a shiver down a spine which ends as a throb between her thighs.

Judy pulls her own dress over her head; she has always loved this moment, the liberation of unveiling herself for someone for the first time. She watches as Jen’s dark eyes widen, as she’s stunned into silence for just a moment while she drinks in the sight of Judy. Judy feels as much as she sees Jen’s gaze as it slowly rakes over her body, the intensity burning a hot trail into Judy’s skin. 

And then it’s as though a switch flips and Jen is swiftly shrugging off her unbuttoned shirt and kicking off her pants, joining Judy in just her underwear. Judy is quick to push Jen back towards the bed, the months of pent-up wanting culminating in this glorious moment, in Jen baring herself so freely for Judy. When Jen’s legs hit the bed she sits at the edge and lets Judy climb into her lap and take Jen’s face between her hands, bringing their lips together once more. Then Jen lets Judy push her back into the mattress and Judy is a little surprised by Jen being so pliant beneath her. She hadn’t thought much about the mechanics of them being together, but she definitely hadn’t imagined Jen would relinquish control so easily.

As if reading her mind, Jen suddenly reaches for Judy’s shoulders and shoves her off her lap, rolling on top of Judy, mouth returning to Judy’s neck, kissing and nibbling across her sensitive skin. Judy lets herself indulge in the feeling for a moment before remembering she initiated this with the intention of giving a gift to Jen. And oh wow does she want to give it to her now. With that thought, Judy wraps her legs around Jen’s hips and rolls them back over.

“No, Jen. I said I’m going to give you a present,” Judy grinds her hips down firmly to emphasise the point, then she pins Jen’s hands at either side of her head.

“Getting to touch you seems like a pretty great present,” Jen huffs, struggling a little against Judy’s firm grasp before accepting her fate.

“Hmm, maybe after,” Judy hums with a wink, “Scoot up, please,” she adds sweetly, nodding her head towards the pillows to show Jen where she wanted. Jen does as she requests and Judy resumes the same position: strong thighs straddling writhing hips, deft fingers gripping straining wrists. Judy surges back down to kiss Jen once more. She briefly wonders if she’ll ever get used to the surprising softness when their lips come together. 

In truth, Judy thinks she could stay like this forever, but the urge to find out what other responses she can elicit from Jen tonight eventually wins over. She squeezes Jen’s hands, signalling she should keep them there, and her fingers ghost down the soft skin of Jen’s arms, across her shoulders, and dance their way down Jen’s chest, all the while Judy is kissing her way down Jen’s neck, then she’s following the path of her hands, leaving kisses in their wake. 

Judy senses that tonight isn’t the night to venture beyond Jen’s bra and quickly scoots further down Jen’s body, but not before placing a few gentle kisses on Jen’s chest and whispering _“you’re beautiful”_ with a smile when Jen meets her eyes. She hopes Jen knows just how much she means it and vows to make it her mission to make Jen believe it.

Judy’s hands find the waistband of Jen’s underwear and she raises her eyebrows, searching for permission. Being met with a quick nod from Jen, Judy slowly slides Jen’s underwear down her legs then kisses her way back up, quick at first and then moving more languidly the further up her thighs Judy finds herself. 

Judy hooks her arms under Jen’s thighs and her hands pin down Jen’s writhing hips as her mouth finally reaches where Jen very, _very_ obviously needs her. Judy can’t help but moan when she first tastes Jen, her tongue gently running through Jen’s wetness. Jen answers with a moan of her own as her hips strain against Judy’s hands and Jen’s hand flies down to tangle in the brunette’s hair. Judy works her tongue against Jen, taking in the taste and smell of Jen’s need, getting lost in the hypnotic motion of the strokes and flicks and circles her tongue is making. She thrusts her tongue inside Jen – once, twice, three times. And when she feels Jen pulses against her, Judy replaces her tongue with two fingers, pushing them roughly inside, searching for just the right spot to make Jen’s hips jerk off the bed. Judy feels like she’s won a prize when she finds it, and Jen pulling her hair roughly is an extra bonus. With a few more thrusts of her fingers and flicks of her tongue, Judy works Jen up to her peak and helps her ride through it.

The sight of Jen’s mouth open, back arched, and hips bucking is monumentally better than anything Judy could have imagined. She can’t believe she has been graced with permission to make that happen, hopefully more times than she’ll ever be able to count.

When Jen’s body melts back against the mattress, her chest is still heaving and she throws an arm over her face. Judy leaves one last kiss on Jen’s stomach, then moves to lie against her side, draping an arm across Jen’s torso and leaning her head against Jen’s shoulder.

Time seems to slow as she takes Jen in: the sheen of sweat across her chest, her cheeks flushed, her hair splayed across the pillow. She’s positively glowing, basking in her pleasure. Eventually, Jen’s breathing evens out and she looks to Judy, desire instantly evident in her eyes. 

In a flash Jen is rolling Judy onto her back and dropping one leg between Judy’s thighs. Jen hovers a little above Judy, just out of reach, eyes roaming across her. Judy gets lost in the sparkling sea-glass green until Jen is gently moving a piece of hair behind Judy’s ear and whispering, “I can’t believe we’re really here, that I really get to kiss you,” and she leans down to do just that. “And I get to touch you.” she says, trailing her hand down her cheek, her neck, across her collarbone, landing on her breast. The simultaneous softness and intensity in Jen’s actions make Judy’s heart race, the anticipation rushing through her body. 

“Please Jen,” Judy begs, her skin tingling under Jen’s gentle touch.

Judy bucks her hips up to meet Jen’s thigh between her legs and gasps at the welcome pressure, which is all too quickly removed again. Jen has moved her leg away and her hand has reached Judy’s underwear, “I think you should take these off for me, Jude.”

This is the side of Jen that Judy had imagined on those late nights she lay awake, losing control of her mind under the cover of darkness. It’s a thrill to finally witness it in person. 

Unable to do anything other than obey Jen’s wishes, Judy quickly shimmies out of her underwear and tosses them on the floor. Thankfully Jen is immediately back on her, leg returning between Judy’s thighs and mouth finding Judy’s. She moans at the thought that Jen will be able to taste herself on Judy’s tongue, bucking her hips up against Jen firmly to relieve the throb building in her centre. 

Jen takes the hint and her hand begins the slow exploration down her body, palming Judy’s breasts and then pinching a hard nipple through the thin fabric of Judy’s bralette. The hint of pain that shoots through Judy’s chest is more than welcome and she pushes hard into Jen. Jen smirks at her reaction (and fuck does that smirk do _something_ to her) and reaches inside the soft fabric, taking the nipple between her fingers and pinching, harder this time, twisting a little, and eliciting a string of mumbled appreciation.

Before Judy is quite ready for this delicious moment to end, Jen is moving further down Judy’s body. A hand dances across Judy’s taut stomach for a few agonisingly long seconds before Jen’s fingers push between Judy’s legs, replacing Jen’s thigh to add pressure exactly where Judy needs her. 

Jen’s fingers work magic between Judy’s legs; rhythmically alternating between long slow strokes and quick tight circles, pressure increasing to build Judy up and then reigning it back just as her muscles begin to twitch under Jen’s touch. She feels herself getting close much quicker than she usually would, nails digging into Jen’s back as they share an occasional kiss, heavy breaths mingling in the hot space between them. 

With Jen now thrusting three fingers into Judy and a thumb pressing into her clit at just the right moment, Judy comes. She feels the orgasm ripple through the length of her body, toe-curling, back-arching pleasure. Judy moans into Jen’s mouth, hoping to muffle herself a little as she comes down from the high.

“That was amazing,” Judy sighs once her body stops vibrating, still blissed out, _“You_ are amazing.” 

She leaves a kiss on Jen’s shoulder and feels herself settling deeper into the mattress, ready to surrender to sleep and the feeling of Jen’s warm skin on hers. But suddenly Jen is sitting up and somehow gets herself out of bed and moves to the dresser, pulling out their Christmas pyjamas and tossing Judy’s over to the bed.

“We gotta put these on for Henry coming in in the morning,” Jen gently laughs as she turns away to take off her bra and pull the pyjamas on.

Judy drags herself to sit up and put the pyjamas on. By the time she’s snuggling back under the covers, Jen has gathered up the clothes they’d left strewn across the floor. 

“Don’t want to scar the boys this early on,” Jen shrugs as she tosses the clothes in the hamper and turns off the lights before crawling into bed. She settles closer to Judy than normal, lying on her back and head turned towards Judy.

“Merry Christmas, Jude,” Jen whispers into the darkness between them, and Judy’s eyes have adjusted just enough to see the soft smile on Jen’s face.

“Merry Christmas. I love you so much,” Judy sighs happily, draping her arm across Jen’s abdomen. She leans up for one last quick kiss before cosying into the pillow, as close to Jen as she can get.

“I love you, too.”

Hearing those words from Jen might be the best sound Judy’s ever heard. Judy falls asleep feeling the happiest and most content she’s ever been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the final chapter will definitely be much shorter, just a quick christmas morning fluff situation, and will make an appearance in a few days once christmas activities calm down and i have a little time to work on it! happy holidays 🥰


	4. loved ones are near

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone who has commented and enjoyed this fic with me over the past few weeks! i've hardly written anything before and i rarely enjoy the process, but this lil piece of festive fun has truly been a joy for me. it was completely self-indulgent so i'm so glad others have found something to enjoy in it too. also a big shoutout to all the lovely friends who have helped me out with ideas and encouragement and beta-ing this fic, i appreciate you all so much. 
> 
> anyway, without further ado, here's the final instalment of christmas fluff 🎄💜

_“MERRRRYY CHRRRIISTMMAASSS!”_

Judy is awoken on Christmas morning with a start, a (very loud) sing-song-y Christmas greeting stirring her into consciousness. In the split second before she opens her eyes, Judy registers the serene warmth she feels; Jen is wrapped in her arms, her back pressed against Judy's front, the covers wrapped around them, a cosy cocoon. Judy opens her eyes to see blonde waves on the pillow but before she can bask in the intimacy of the moment, Henry has raced across the floor and is launching himself onto their bed. 

“Wake up! Wake up! It’s Christmas!” Henry cheers as he shakes Jen’s arm and smiles at Judy when he catches her open eyes.

There’s a grumble from Jen who is a few seconds behind Judy in waking up. Jen stretches a little, the action pushing her closer to Judy, and Judy feels the grasp on her arm tighten a little as Jen’s eyes flutter open. Judy watches as Jen shuffles a little on to her back and a smile appears on Jen’s face as she opens her eyes to see her youngest son grinning at her excitedly; it immediately enters her catalogue of Jen’s softest moments (which had been fairly sparse until these past few weeks; now it’s overflowing).

“Merry Christmas, Boop,” Jen reaches to ruffle his hair as she reluctantly shuffles out of Judy’s arms, moving to sit up against their pillows. Judy mirrors the action and as soon as the space between them appears it’s filled with Henry wiggling his way between them, settling himself practically on top of them.

“Merry Christmas, Char,” Jen tells her oldest son as he perches at the edge of the bed, safely away from the threat of a hug. 

The sun is just beginning to rise and it drapes the room in golden light as they share their Christmas greetings bundled together on the bed, smiles plastered across their faces.

“Oh, we forgot your ca–” Henry suddenly starts speaking, but stops when he sees Charlie holding out two folder pieces of card for him.

Henry excitedly scrambles down the bed and grabs them from his brother and then, after quickly checking which is which, hands one card to Jen and the other to Judy.

“I painted them myself!” Henry exclaims, eyes pouring over Judy awaiting her approval. On the front of her card is a simple watercolour painting of a Christmas tree, decorated with coloured baubles, and _‘Merry Christmas’_ carefully painted across the top in red. It’s a little messy, Henry still learning the patience required to make sure the colours don’t unintentionally run together, but Judy can see how much he’s progressed since they last painted together, can imagine the effort Henry put in to making this – it’s perfect.

“It’s so beautiful, Henry!” Judy tells him earnestly, “This might be your best work yet.”

Judy opens the card and finds a simple message scrawled across the page in Henry’s messy writing, with Charlie’s name written a little more neatly; he had clearly taken the effort to sign it himself. The message itself couldn’t get much more generic, really, but Judy’s heart skips a beat as she reads it:

_To Judy / Mom_

__

__

Merry Christmas! 

_Love from  
Henry and Charlie_

Judy traces her fingers softly over one specific word: _Mom_

For a second she wonders if the card is meant for both her and Jen, but glancing over at Jen’s she sees it is signed _'To Mommy'_ and her heart clenches at the gesture, tears forming just as quickly as the smile that breaks across her face.

With misty eyes she glances up and catches Charlie’s eye first, who has apparently been watching her intently. He offers Judy a shy smile as she pulls Henry into a tight hug, thanking them both for her card. Henry tells her it’s just a card and Charlie assures her that it’s no big deal, but Judy thinks it’s the best gift she’s ever been given. 

Henry quickly becomes fidgety, eager to carry on with the day, and Jen tells them to go and check if Santa has been, saying they’ll follow them in just a second. Once the boys leave Jen turns to look at Judy. The softness in Jen’s eyes is too much and Judy feels the tears she’d been holding back begin to fall.

“Crying already?” Jen wipes a tear from Judy’s cheek then pulls her in for a hug before gently teasing, “Thought we’d at least make it out of bed before that happened.” 

“They wrote _‘Mom’_ in my card,” Judy whispers into Jen’s neck. As she says the words aloud she’s met with a flash of panic that it’s too much, that Jen will be hurt and feel Judy is intruding on her territory.

But before those thoughts can go too far, Judy feels Jen’s shoulders shrug against her chin and then she’s whispering quiet reassurance next to Judy’s ear, “It makes sense, you’ve been taking care of them and loving them just as much as I have been, if not more.”

Judy leans back to meet Jen’s eye, not finding the words to tell her how much that means, but she thinks she sees the understanding in Jen’s eye. Judy leans in for a kiss, it’s sweet and soft and Judy hopes it conveys just how happy she is to be here in this moment with Jen. They get briefly lost in each other, the excitement at touching like this still so fresh and exciting, until the unmistakable sounds of excitement travel up the stairs. 

“Come on, let’s go see what Santa brought.”

***

Charlie and Henry are by the tree, sprawled amongst the sea of presents on the floor. With the fairy lights twinkling it’s like a picture-perfect scene out of any of the Christmas films they’d been watching together. Henry is clutching onto his overflowing stocking and when Judy joins them, sitting with her back resting against the couch, he shoves her stocking into her lap. 

Every time Judy had seen her new stocking hanging next to the well-loved ones belonging to the Hardings over the past few weeks, she had taken a moment to be thankful for being included. And although she had been thinking about this morning more often than she can keep track of, Judy could never have anticipated just how loved she would feel holding her very own stocking, full to the brim with gifts, surrounded by her family.

“Mooom, come on! It’s present time!” Henry shouts out to Jen who had made a beeline for the kitchen, making herself and Judy some coffee. Henry is bouncing in the spot, excitement radiating off him and straight into Judy; she can feel herself getting more and more excited about the day to come with every second she spends near him.

“I’ll just be a second, but you can start. I can see from here,” Jen replies, and Judy notices that the smile Jen woke up with is yet to drop for even a second. Seeing Jen this peaceful and genuinely happy is the second unexpected, but completely perfect, gift Judy has received this morning, all before she’s even opened any presents.

Given the go-ahead, the boys begin digging into their stockings, a flurry of ripped wrapping paper beginning to cover the floor. At some point Jen comes back to sit on the couch, handing Judy a warm mug and perching next to her, Jen’s right leg lightly brushing against Judy’s left arm. Judy takes the mug and tilts her head up, smiling so hard at Jen her cheeks are already hurting and it’s not even 8am yet. Jen returns the smile and squeezes Judy’s shoulder, a small gesture that speaks a thousand words, that feels something like home.

Judy watches with amazement as Charlie and Henry take turns to open gifts, working in a practiced routine. There’s excitement over too much candy, and fake eye rolls at novelty socks, and smart-ass remarks about body wash. And then there’s genuine thanks once the stockings have been emptied. 

The boys encourage Jen and Judy to start opening presents too, so in between Charlie and Henry beginning to open their piles of large parcels from Santa the women slowly work through their own stockings. They had agreed to fill the other’s with small things, the same way they’d done for the boys. Judy finds cosy socks and miniature bottles of tequila and rum and organic body lotions, while Jen unwraps her favorite chocolate truffles and cherry flavoured lip balm and a small candle.

By the time they finish Jen has made her way to join the rest of the family on the floor, and she leans her head on Judy’s shoulder, her hand mindlessly finding its way to bring Judy’s into her own lap. They sit like that, tangled together peacefully, as they watch Charlie and Henry continue to open their presents, from _‘Santa’_ and then from _‘Mom’._

Next to Charlie is a growing pile of video games and skateboard accessories, while Henry is surrounded by art supplies and science kits he had asked for, claiming to want to do experiments with Shandy. (Judy had encouraged Jen to pick up the crystal growing kit while Jen had picked out a build-your-own-robot, her own curiosity getting the better of her.) Eventually Judy gives them each a gift, too. 

Charlie opens his first and reveals a Vans box, surprise dancing over his face. Judy had been at the mall with the boys a month or so ago when Charlie had been longingly staring at the shoes. Judy suggested he ask for them for Christmas but he said he had already asked for more than enough already. She can’t claim to understand the infatuation with expensive sneakers but Judy does recognise the look on Charlie’s face when he drags himself away from the shoes and knows that, for whatever reason, owning them would make him absurdly happy. She figured the high price tag isn’t so much to pay to see Charlie light up, and she was right. When Charlie opens the box and reveals the exact pair of shoes he had been lusting over he immediately thanks Judy, and thanks her again as he tries them on while Henry starts to open his gift.

Henry rips open the paper on the larger of his two presents to find a box housing a collection of books: the _His Dark Materials_ trilogy. Judy and Henry had been enjoying their bedtime reading ritual and had been discussing what sort of books they might read after the festive period was over. Henry had said he wanted to read more fantasy books, and Judy had seen the first season of the new television adaptation but never read the books, so she picked out this trilogy for them to read, hoping Henry would be as excited about it as her. 

“Judy! These are so beautiful!” Henry says, pulling the books out one-by-one and admiring the cover illustrations, focusing particularly on the first with the polar bear on front, “Thank you!”

“You’re more than welcome, Henry.”

“Oh, I need to open my other present!”

Henry picks up the smaller present sitting next to him and pulls back the paper to reveal a thin piece of wood, _'Henry’s bookmark'_ engraved into it alongside a small bird, a piece of red ribbon looped through from the top. Suddenly, Henry launches himself into Judy’s lap and wraps her in a massive hug.

“I love my presents _so_ much,” he mumbles, voice muffled as he buries his face into her. Then he pulls Jen into the hug too and thanks her again for his gifts and, although he doesn’t move to join the hugs, Charlie thanks them both again too with a sincere grin gracing his face. 

***

It’s not long before the boys become occupied by their presents and Jen and Judy relocate to the couch, Jen’s back yelling for some comfort. They bring the rest of their gifts for each other with them. 

“I really can’t believe you got me all this,” Judy says as she gazes over the large pile gifts adorned in all kinds of fancy paper and ribbons and bows.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” comes the reply from Jen, obviously trying to brush it off but the light blush that graces her cheeks betrays her.

“And you wrapped them so beautifully – I’d never have expected that, Jen,” Judy teases a little as she unties a large ribbon around one of her gifts. The comment elicits a pointed laugh from Charlie who isn’t quite as absorbed in his computer game as it seemed.

“Shut it, Char,” Jen feigns anger, but her smile still doesn’t drop. And when Judy reaches out to squeeze Jen’s hand and offer a reassuring smile, Jen’s face lightens up fully once again.

With the ribbon removed, Judy removes the paper and reveals a ceramic pie dish, in the base the initials _J. H._ are engraved amongst a delicate design. Judy ghosts a finger over the initials, marvelling at having something so beautifully made specifically for her. Moreover, it’s a gift that is for a home, for a _family;_ an item used to make something to share with the people she loves most. 

“Are you sure this isn’t a present for you, Jen?” Judy laughs, teasing Jen in an attempt to stave off getting too emotional over a pie dish.

“Well, I guess it’s maybe for us both,” Jen smirks in response, and Judy tries not to fixate on Jen’s tongue as she licks her lips a little, brain clearly jumping a few steps ahead to fresh baked cherry pie.

“I love it, thank you.”

Judy continues to unwrap gift after gift, awestruck at the thought Jen has put into each of them: her favorite incense scents and a new holder for the sticks, a range of organic body products, a ring she had been admiring recently, and even a new floral robe (“to help rebuild the collection”). As Judy opens more and more gifts she notes that almost all of the brands she recognises as small, local businesses, most of which had been present at the winter festival market they had been at. 

Jen admits to going back on her own to pick up some gifts having seen Judy appreciate so many of the items and talk to so many of the vendors. Jen’s attention to detail, to Judy, makes Judy tear up again, and she pulls Jen in for another hug and a quick kiss before telling Jen it’s her turn to open some gifts now.

Judy didn’t get Jen quite so many gifts, but she is quietly pleased with what she picked out. The first one Jen opens is a crate of six wines – Judy tells her they are all from Californian vineyards and she points out the tasting cards tucked in beside the bottles. (She figures if they are going to be drinking so much of the stuff they could at least learn something while they do it.) Judy even suggests that if they find one they really like they could take a trip to go visit the vineyard, and Jen positively beams at the suggestion of a trip away, just the two of them. 

The next present Jen opens is a box holding a pair of earrings, small pieces of pink and black crystal set into silver. 

“I know you don’t _get_ crystals Jen, but I saw these and thought they would really suit you,” Judy rambles, a little nervous Jen might hate them. Jen reaches a hand out to stop Judy from spiralling.

“I love them; they’re gorgeous. Maybe you can even teach me what these crystals mean some time,” Jen’s tone is a little teasing but Judy can see the sincerity there too. She wonders what Jen will make of Judy giving her tourmaline, meant for healing the heart and protection.

Jen then opens two envelopes from Judy. The first contains a voucher for a couples massage and Judy quickly explains that it was a good deal and she thought it would be something nice to do together, especially given how much Jen’s back had been playing up recently. They laugh together as they realise the gift is more fitting now than if the events of yesterday hadn’t happened, while Charlie rolls his eyes at how ridiculous they are.

The second envelope contains two tickets to a touring production of Chicago, coming to Los Angeles the next year. Judy had spent ages trying to pick what show to take Jen to, not being too familiar with any of them. In truth, she was a little worried she might have made the wrong decision so she certainly doesn’t expect the delighted gasp that comes from Jen when she sees them.

“I didn’t even know it was touring… I haven’t been to the theatre in so long,” Jen sounds a little dazed, lost in the nostalgia of a life long forgotten. “You know I played Velma in college?”

“Really?” Judy asks, relieved she appears to have made the right choice and more than a little intrigued by the image of a young Jen in a leading role on stage.

“Yeah, I was pretty great too.”

“Oh, I believe it.”

“I think I even still remember the _All That Jazz_ choreography.”

“Maybe you should show me some time,” Judy raises an eyebrow suggestively.

“Or we can just wait and see the professionals do it,” Jen responds, but Judy can see Jen’s mind working behind those words. 

“We’ll see,” Judy smirks, already plotting how she’s going to get Jen to put on a show for her.

“Thank you, babe,” Jen says after a moment, the earnestness in Jen’s voice taking Judy aback. “I really can’t wait.”

“You’re more than welcome. I’m excited too,” Judy smiles back, getting lost in their own little world yet again.

Interrupted by the sounds of Charlie’s game, Judy shakes herself out of it and hands Jen her final gift. Jen rips off the paper and when she sees a familiar box inside she can’t help the exclamation that tumbles out of her.

“No fuckin’ way.”

“What? You don’t like it?” Judy’s tone is instantly laced with worry.

“What? No. Judy, I haven’t even opened it yet,” Jen is quick to reassure Judy, then passes Judy her last gift, a box the same size as the one Jen’s currently holding. “Here, open this at the same time.”

“But I want to see your reaction.”

“Babe, just trust me.”

“Okay...” Judy concedes and hesitantly starts unwrapping the paper, revealing a small box matching the one in Jen’s hands.

“You went back to the market too?” Jen asks Judy, who nods her confirmation. 

They open the boxes simultaneously, and turn them to each other. The boxes each contain necklaces, silver chains with handcrafted pendants hanging from them: Judy’s a sun while Jen holds a moon. Glancing from each other's necklaces back to their own, their glistening eyes then meet and they can’t help the laughs that bubble out of them. 

“I know you love the moon Jude, but to me, you’re the sun,” Jen says, putting down her own necklace to reach for the one Judy is holding, taking it from the box and placing it around Judy’s neck. Speechless, Judy reaches for the necklace with the crescent moon and mirrors Jen’s action, securing it around the blonde’s neck.

Judy runs a finger over the moon pendant and, realising how close she now is to Jen, she finds her gaze again and whispers, “I guess we’re a perfect cosmic match.”

The comment makes Jen laugh softly before she brings Judy in for a kiss, pulling back just enough to confirm that maybe they are. Judy surrenders herself to the warmth of the moment: arms wrapped around the woman she loves, surrounded by thoughtful gifts, sitting with the boys who are quickly becoming her own. The joy that surges through Judy as she takes it all in propels her back into Jen, lips colliding once more. 

“Ugh, get a room,” comes a grumble for Charlie, accompanied by a laugh from Henry.

“Better get used to it,” Jen smirks when she detaches herself from Judy, “You made this happen.”

“Oh no, this was very clearly already happening,” Charlie points towards the matching necklaces they’re both still misty-eyed over, “We just helped you realise you were being idiots.”

“Whatever,” Jen grumbles, trying to brush it off but Judy just beams back at them all. 

Henry is quick to change the subject as always, “Can we have cookies for breakfast now?”

They all move towards the kitchen for a sugar-filled breakfast, chatting over one another about their favorite gifts and their plans for the rest of the day. As Judy takes a seat beside Charlie at the kitchen island, and she picks up a cookie decorated by Henry, and she watches Jen’s necklace glisten in the sunlight as she makes a fresh batch of coffee, Judy decides that Christmas really is the most wonderful time of the year.


End file.
